First and last break up

First and last break up

Love may control our life with great strength. But, love is always driven with little things. Some time we have control over those things some times we don’t. That’s what make love so unpredictable and complicated. For me love is something I can never put in to words. I can give examples of love its everywhere. It’s in God’s blessing, in mother’s food, father’s advice; friends laugh and in lover’s touch. Love is everywhere. But I still can’t explain it. Can i?

Well this little story is not about love. But the uncertain and complicated middle part of end and beginning of love. Love can be quite stupid some time and so simple. It’s really funny that People love to cry over love. When egos gets in the way and cliche line would be there like “something got in my eyes” when people are welling up. And everyone knows what that means. In this story that line made quite a lot of difference than anyone can ever imagine.

I still find it bit mysterious and funny. i always wounder to my self. What if God have a hand in all this. What if it’s a sign from God. Which we choose to ignore some time. I am talking about all the small coincidences and awkward events. Which leads us to love. Now, I am not the person who actually believe in destiny and fated to be together stuff. But, I start to believe when I heard story from Abhi.  Its been 2 years since Abhi and Megha’s marriage. And, how they become a lot closer after a ridiculous encounter. When Abhi told it to me after two drinks at party it sound like this.
(Abhi  Telling the Story)

Ever since I saw Megha I was mad about her. I have met her on the orientation day of my collage. But, I always felt stupid talking to Megha. No matter what we are talking about. I always felt Megha knows about everything and everyone. It’s not a great feeling. But, the way she used to talk was amazing. Her eyes shining with confidence, when she is on about her favorite history lecture. She was smart and beautiful. Sometime I don’t believe on my own luck. How could I be so lucky that she said yes to become my girlfriend and then my wife.

On the orientation of the collage we sat together. She wore a red t shirt and blue jeans. She looked so beautiful. Being from a small town. I was bit skeptical about talking to a city girl. Like everyone my mother also warned me about city girls. Yes, that’s right I am a mama’s boy.

Apparently all the Indian boys are. Well that’s not the point. We were sitting together. I was so nervous sitting with that hot girl. I was even afraid to look directly at her. She noticed my nervousness and said hello with a beautiful smile.

Her sweet voice just strung  guitars in my ears. Feeling of being in love is a wonderful thing. Being a city girl she was very bold confident and broad minded. I was stunned by her boldness. And still there are days when she completely surprises me.

We were in same trade and in same classes of the course. Which made it really convenient to being with her. We were always together. When, we were on campus. Attraction turned to liking and liking became love. I was the inpatient one in both of us. I purposed her during the start of second semester. It was really awkward and confusing. I was not sure if she said yes or not. Because she was standing there laughing at me.  I had chose library as a spot to purpose her.

I was sitting in library. I took her hand. When she was busy reading physics book. She shot me a stink eye with her big brown eyes. And made a face. Which was so adorable. But didn’t slapped my hand or try to let go. I try to whisper my feeling when a faculty member came and sat near us. I kept whispering my confession. But she was not hearing it. Or, was trying to ignore it.

When I try to say something Lauder Librarian looked at me as he was going to eat me up. The faculty member already heard my confession three times. He patted my back and told me. Take the girl outside and then confess. But, when faculty member said it. Every one heard. We were both embarrassed and it was really awkward. We came out of library while blushing, Then in to canteen. I was still holding her hand. When she started to laugh. And won’t stop no matter what. How much I pleaded with my puppy face.

She kept saying “what were you thinking dumb-ass”.

I was saying the same thing to me in my mind. But after few more tries. She finally said yes. And it was really lovely being with her. Looking at her made those hard and boring days quite easy. Megha helped me through all the hard times.

After 6th semester we started to drift apart. And, reason was as silly as it could be. I thought she doubted everything I did, no matter what and she thought I don’t gave her enough attention. You know how this work. You won’t answer one phone call one massage. The relationship over and done. It was ridiculous and people haven’t changed much since then have they. but was critical matter at that age for us. And thing which haunted me then. We finally decided to break up.

I had left the college dorm and was living in the city now. So, we met on CCD(cafe coffee day) in the city. We returned our gifts and things. It was so painful no matter what I loved her and she loved me. We just wanted to get it over with and go home. Coffee tasted bad too. When I was paying for the coffee. They told me card payment can’t be done. Because, machine was busted. I didn’t let her pay. My ego was too big. And, she didn’t insist because she knew me well and didn’t want to have a fight. when we were actually parting ways. It was enough painful as it is.

I ran to the ATM nearby. One thing I didn’t noticed that my shades were dropped. when, I was on my way to ATM. I came back and paid for the coffee. We both came out.

I came on my friend’s bike. I saw her standing alone waiting for an Auto Rickshaw. I thought I should at least give a lift to her home one last time. Asked her, if she wanted a lift.

She smiled and hopped on the back seat. I was driving the bike with no helmet on. Windy season and dust was in the air. It was getting hard to drive without my shades. I was squinting my eyes. And after some time, I had teary eyes because of the dust. We stopped at a signal. When a bike standing little too close. the man on the other bike moved the side mirror of our bike with his elbow. She could see my face now through side mirror.

When, she saw my teary eyes. She started to think That I was crying Because we were breaking up. She knew me. I was not kind of man. Who will get that emotional or cry for that matter. And thought she meant really that much to me that I was crying. Which was partly true though. But I was  planning to cry after I get home. Yeah, I m the kind who don’t like to show emotional side to people.

After, we crossed the signal. She hugged me from behind. I was thinking she is regretting her decision. But didn’t say anything. After, a while when I felt wetness on my shoulder. I realize she was crying. I didn’t want to break up with her at the first place. She was one true beauty only a fool will let her go.

When, we reached at her house. She won’t come down the bike.  She stayed there hugging me from behind even though. we were in front of her house. She is one bold lady I tell ya  But I was happy. Then she said”why are you crying.”

I said “something got into my eyes”. i don’t have my shades on.

She just assumed i was lying. Apparently every one says that for her it was such a cliche so it was obvious what she was thinking. but not for me something did got into my eye. i didn’t insist on it. Then, after a awkward silence she said “If, you love me that much that going away makes you cry. Then I will stay by you forever and ever.”

So that was my first and last break up of my life. And she kept her promise. She stays by my side all this time. And every day I thank my stars for that.

It could have been a different story. If the CCD Debit card machine had been working or if I hadn’t lost my shades or man on the signal hadn’t elbowed my side mirror. God do works in strange ways. And my love changed completely with some wind and dust in my eyes.

I never told her that. But, I do like to tell the stories to those. Who needs to believe. Me, I was just lucky.